


Interview With An Empire: Smuppets Go From Strength To Strength

by AOrange



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Magazine Interview, Pre-Sburb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-11
Updated: 2013-09-11
Packaged: 2017-12-26 08:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/963585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AOrange/pseuds/AOrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A 2007 magazine interview with Bro where he discusses the origins of his empire, how Plush Rump has changed since the late 80s, and his plans for the future of his and his kids' shared YouTube channel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interview With An Empire: Smuppets Go From Strength To Strength

June 12, 2007

HOUSTON, TX. The infamous Mr. Strider of Plush Rump fame is, somewhat surprisingly, the perfect picture of Southern hospitality. With an interview scheduled for eleven o'clock, he ushers the entire crew into his apartment with open arms and invites us to help ourselves to the copious amount of pre-prepared sweet tea and snacks sitting on the kitchen counter.

"Just don't open the fridge," he warns, and continues the train of thought more to himself than anyone in particular, mumbling something about cleaning out the old swords to rotate in the new ones. 

However, within minutes, he is acting more like the Strider we have collectively come to know through his pronounced media presence, clearing numerous chairs and the couch of puppets and laughing to himself about their crazy outfits as he throws them aside to create more room for all the drinks. 

Strider is, in and of himself, an internet sensation. He hosts numerous websites featuring his puppets, smuppets, and throws himself at any opportunity to expand his empire. His personal site is completely off-beat, comprising a wild assortment of videos, photos, blog posts, whatever he feels like. The internet loves it. Strider loves talking about it. He hands over a laptop to indicate a recent post, one he wrote in response to the increasing questions about his taste in entertainment. 

"You think I give enough of a s**t to respond to each and every one of these a******s individually?" The question is asked rhetorically, a smirk spreading below his ubiquitous sunglasses. "Nah, one big f**k y'all and I get on with what I gotta do. And I got a heck of a lot to do around here." He waves an indifferent hand around the living room and it's only with this gesture that the true extent of his obsession with puppets becomes obvious. 

Smuppets line every available surface. They sit on shelves, tables, atop the television and the computer monitor. They explode from drawers. Marionettes hang from hooks on the ceiling. Posters and framed art prints cover the walls, very few of them G-rated. The juxtaposition of Jim Henson's Muppet Babies displayed beside Smuppets in lingerie is unnerving. 

Plush Rump. The bulk of Strider's initial fame and wealth came from the niche website that now logs more than five hundred thousand unique visitors a month. It single-handedly laid the foundations for his empire and launched him from unknown to the man he is today, overseeing each and every aspect of his web ventures alone. 

"I get some help with the servers and s**t but that's about it. And I only do that because ain't no way I could store them here."

But what exactly is it about Plush Rump that has traffic growing, month after month?

"Initially it was a big joke, y'know? Like hey, I like puppets. I really like puppets. They're the f*****g s**t. There's gotta be someone else out there who loves 'em too. I already had the smuppets, they've been a thing since what, '88? Back then though, all I did was set 'em up in compromising positions and take photos. Those are all up on the main site since they ain't nothing the kids of today would get offended by. Vintage smuppet pornos is even a hilarious thing to say. Who says that? 'Hey man lets go look up some vintage smuppet porn'? I put it out there for free because if anyone's looking for something as specific as that, they deserve to find it."

Strider continues, discussing his early projects and the switch from photographs to video as the technology was made more accessible and affordable to the general public. He started by passing the tapes around local colleges at first, effectively testing the waters to gauge public interest. 

"You want to test out something freaky to see how people react? College kids are all over that kind of s**t. That's all most of 'em go to college for. Beer and freaky s**t. Anyway, they were a hit. Set up a mail-order system, five bucks a tape. Made about fifteen hundred in the first month."

Not a bad effort for amateur puppet pornography back in 1988.

As the interview progresses, it becomes disturbingly clear how little regard Strider holds for the opinion of others on his work. 

"I sew my own smuppets, I make stop-motion films of them f*****g each other in the a**, and I'm sitting here openly telling you about the fact I get a kick out of it. You think I'd do this s**t if stopped to really think about that too hard? It's pretty obvious there's other people out there who are way more into it than I am. I only make the s**t. They pay me so they can get off to it."

An offer to preview his current project is declined and the topic of conversation shifts entirely as a child appears behind the couch carrying a glass of the sweet tea despite him going nowhere near the kitchen. He does nothing until Strider turns to face him. 

"They're asking s**t about the YouTube channel. Got any answers for 'em?"

From behind a miniature pair of his older brother's glasses, Dave Strider lets the corner of his mouth twist into a grin. The eleven year old regularly features on the brothers' shared YouTube channel in numerous roles. Often the butt of a joke involving large numbers of puppets in unsuspecting places, he has also shown a high level of intelligence for a child his age along with a well-rounded sense of humor through his game and film reviews. One brother often plays off the other despite their age difference keeping them firmly in separate generations. 

"Why wouldn't we?" Dave suggests when asked why they devote hours of their time to filming each other performing stunts that most of the population would never consider attempting.

"He got in on it because I told him that I was going to film him attempting that g*****n double kickflip and put it on the internet so everyone could see him fail at it for the sixtieth time. The one where he broke his elbow, that's the one that started it." 

Dave winces at the memory. The video in question - almost a year old - has over two hundred thousand hits and hundreds of comments. A follow up from recent months features Dave having mastered the stunt. 

"It took so long because it took me like a year to learn the trick properly. I f****d it up once in front of the whole world and I wasn't gonna do that again." 

"He's a good kid," Strider responds to the accusation of lackadaisical parenting. "He's not hurting anyone, except himself sometimes, and he's not being an a*****e. That's pretty much a parental success these days."

Dave questions the word 'parental' and the pair devolve into a series of rapid fire insults that only ends when Strider raises a hand and uses it to cover Dave's entire face. The screeches that follow indicate a deep but genuine sibling rivalry, one that the younger refuses to admit. 

"He's the a*****e. But yeah, I guess he's alright. He's only an a*****e some of the time," Dave says. 

When watching them talk, it's easy to see that their YouTube videos aren't setups. The reactions and banter between the two Striders are genuine and spontaneous, two of the key factors in their increasing popularity. 

So what does the future hold for the smuppet industry? 

"I'm working on a couple of short films at the moment, one's in post already, the other not quite that far along. They'll be out within the month. I got some new merch on the way, there's some limited edition smuppets going up for sale in the week, they're pretty f*****g sweet. I'll probably do a giveaway for the launch, sign a couple. All the info's up on Plush Rump."

What about the combined efforts of the Strider brothers on YouTube?

"As long as the kid stays f*****g adorable, we'll get hits. Kittens doing s**t and kids wrecking themselves on skateboards, those are the foundations of a good video."

"Wait, so we are getting a cat?"

"No way in h**l, little man," Strider responds to the question with the feigned patience to which every parent can relate. "When you're the old man and I'm the one who can't do jack s**t on a board, you can do whatever you can dream up." 

Dave seems satisfied with the somewhat inspirational one-upmanship. 

From humble beginnings in the late 1980s, Strider's smuppet empire has grown from obscene photographs of puppets fondling each other to the multi-billion dollar enterprise it is today.

Not an ounce of the fame as gone to his head, either; no one leaves the interview without enough snacks to feed the ravenous army of fans who eagerly await the next Strider production.

Plush Rump updates bimonthly.  
YouTube and the personal website are updated numerous times weekly.


End file.
